Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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