I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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