She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Drunk is not a location!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize