And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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