Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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