it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
