And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
