We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
