the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
