fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
