let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
