he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
