dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
