as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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