Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
