can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
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