It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
