I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
