Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
