I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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