i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
