This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
