i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
