im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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