Absence makes the cock grow harder.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
This toilet bowl is my home.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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