Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
