Betty ford says i'm here all night
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
