i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
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