I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Randomize
