Me too!
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
