oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
he puts the penis in happiness.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
the raccoons are back...
Randomize