it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
