Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Randomize
