Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize