You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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