ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
