People in love make me want to vomit
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
