can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize