I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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