I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
