did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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