a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
