So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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