i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize