just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
