You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
