it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
