We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
