There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Sorry my hands just texted you
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
