i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
