If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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