Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
