Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
