Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
