Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
