No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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