I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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