dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
