i would punch a child for taco bell
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
