This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We had to coat check the pizza.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
