In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
