i'm signing you up for texting rehab
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
