I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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