I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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