I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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