I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
