perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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