Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
