Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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