At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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