you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize