Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
