So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
