I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
