We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize